You know what, guy, it is one of the most disturbing things you'll ever hear when you realize how common rape is. What's even worse is when you realize that you know - that you think you're friends with - guys who've crossed the line. It's easy to say that "rape will be punished" when you're picturing the guy who bursts from the bushes. It's hard when you find out two months later that your pal kept going after she passed out.

Yes. YES. Yes.. Why is this so difficult to fucking understand?

ugh, boys.

I got in.

I got into GW.

I don't know how the fuck I did it, but I got into one of the top-50 ranked universities in the country with a 2.4 high school GPA, a ~3.7 in college, no extracurriculars, no work experience, no letters of recommendation, and quite frankly a pretty shittastic supplemental essay in which I basically say "something bad happened at this school and it's terrible so I have to leave" without going into any further detail.

Now, of course, that I've made friends at AU and come to appreciate its finer qualities. I could see myself being happy here for the next two years, but until I got an answer from GW I could picture myself being even happier there.

Now I don't know anymore.

I think my problem is that I fall in love with every college campus.

Like today I walked around Georgetown and my heart broke a little because I knew I'd never get to go there.

Now if only I'd figured out this problem before I committed to the only school I'd visited...

Whatsoever.

It's fucking killing me.

I found out yesterday that there's a good chance that my dad and possibly my mom are going to gets jobs in DC in a couple years and stay there for a couple years. This is bad and good because:

a) if they both go, they're likely going to sell the house I grew up in. We own a house in SF, so it's not like I'll no longer have any roots here, but I'll be an undergrad and when/if I come home for the summer, it won't be to my hometown. I suppose this doesn't really matter because it's become pretty obvious in the last year or so that no one here really gives two shits about me or my feelings or that I bend over backwards to try to please them, to no avail because every other weekend I go on Facebook to see they're doing some other fun thing without me for no good reason.
b) I'm very strongly considering going to school in DC, partly for the express purpose of being far away from home. And then my parents are going to move down the street. This could be good, in case I hate being away, because my parents will be right there if I need anything. Also if they live close enough to campus, I could possibly live with them (which isn't so bad, I've learned, because they work alllllll day) and save some serious cash. Even if it is their money technically, sort of.
c) they apparently had the opportunity to do this when I was in high school, which would have been awesome. I had a lot of problems in my freshman/sophomore years that I honestly think would have been lessened if I'd had the chance to start over fresh somewhere else. They didn't do it, though, BECAUSE I was in high school and BECAUSE I was having those problems. Naturally.

Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.

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Okay, I lied. Now that I've decided not to update this journal anymore, I suddenly have ideas for things I want to post about it. Ah. Such is life.

If you don't hear from me again (not that you'd probably notice), then... I'm sorry.